I need a break from minutes, guys.

Tell me about a story I haven't written, and I'll give you between one and three sentences from that story.

The regular fandoms, etc.

Title: to bring the light into your room
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Characters: Charles/Erik (daycare verse), Moira, Katherine, Scott, Jean
Rating: PG
Length: ~4000
Summary: In which Erik trusts Charles, Charles loves Erik, and Erik meets Jean.

Notes: Happy my birthday to you, friends! Here is a totally self-indulgent, completely fluffy, entirely pointless story about hugs and cuddling and small children. If you enjoy those things, I think you will enjoy this! Thank you to pearl_o for looking it over for me, because she is pretty great! Title from "Not a Lullaby" by the Weepies.

( when i'm not right in front of you / to hold you in my arms )

( An email from LiveJournal? What could it be?! )

Thanks for all the love this year, guys ♥ I needed it and appreciated it and you're all pretty wonderful for putting up with me!

Tonight, brilligspoons and I are going to see Dar! First, though, I have to get through eight hours of work.

Hello, internet! I'm back from my trip.

:( :( :(

It was wonderful and amazing and I wish every single day involved sitting on leiascully and coffeesuperhero's couch with Shep wandering around looking at us plantatively as we write and watch movies. Unfortunately, the real world has to happen. Stupid real world.

I seriously think, though, that we somehow stumbled down the rabbithole into a brief fangirl utopia.
1) The days were spent cuddling on the couch while writing and reading fic and watching movies
2) We spent a lot of time talking about fandom and fans and fic and interpretations of canon and theories and such.
3) We did all of this while drinking out of Avengers cups.
4) We skyped with such_heights.
5) Matt Smith carried the Olympic torch, which in and of itself would have been lovely, but was made MORE SO by all the ridiculous things he said when interviewed afterwards.
6) Chris Evans joined Twitter and immediately began living up to expectations.
7) Chris Evans' mom became a thing.
8) McAvoy did Soccer Aid.
9) McAvoy answered a phone call from Anne-Marie while on television during Soccer Aid.

Seriously, guys, it was like a vortex of fangirl amazingness. If only it could have lasted forever :(

***

So, while skyping with Amy, we got the amazing idea to do a Tin Hat day at d*con where we all wear tin foil hats for our OTPs. I think unabashedly think this is an amazing idea but then I made it MORE AMAZING by deciding that, on Tin Hat Day, I will do a Rule 63 Charles costume and Cerebro can be my tin hat.

I will let that amazingness sink in for a moment.

***

So! My birthday is this weekend! We are having a picnic! Unfortunately, due to open container laws, it will not be a boozey picnic. But, depending, maybe I will invite people over after if they want? For sangria?

Meaning, basically, that I think you should give me all your favorite sangria recipes. I mean, I have my mom's old standard for red, but I thought I would ~*broaden my horizons*~ and see if there's anything exciting I'm missing out on. (For instance, metonymy just suggested Fresca in place of ginger ale. WHO KNEW?)

***

Okay. I'm going to work on my reverse bang. And by "work on my reverse bang" I mean "email pearl_o."

Hello, internet, and Happy Towel Day!

I wrote a really long thing last Towel Day. It's here, if you're curious, or if you didn't know me back then. Douglas Adams and this book have been a huge part of my life and continue to be a huge part of my life and I realize that a satirical science fiction book from the 1980s is probably a silly thing to hold on a pedestal the way that I do, but...I can't help it. Everything about it is wonderful and important to me.

So, feel free to peruse that--now that I've said it, I can't imagine what else I could possibly add to the topic aside from, "Yes, this is still so true," because it is.

I do, in fact, know where my towel is today.

***

SO GUYS, BEING HERE IS PRETTY GREAT! It is wonderful and lovely and perfect and I am trying not to think about how I have to go back in a few days :\ (Not that I don't love those of you in Boston. I do! I just wish I could greedily have all my friends around at once all the time.) The temporary Castle de Fangirl is very cool and yesterday we visited the Castle-in-Progress and it is AMAZING. Guys. I cannot even describe how jealous I am of this house. It is full of wonder. Wonderful, as it were.

Mostly we are internetting (or trying, given that their AT&T internet is a bag of dicks) and flailing and hanging out with my friend Shep, the only dog I've ever loved, and yesterday we watched mutants and I live-tweeted a lot of it because--NEWSFLASH!!--Charles Xavier's face is still the best face. THE VERY BEST FACE. EVEN THOUGH IT'S A STUPID GOOBER FACE.

Now we are in Starbucks, stealing functional internet.

Last night, for reasons beyond my recollection, Erin and Mary decided that I needed to marry Chris Evans. I'm...not sure why, but, you have to admit, our baby would be SO FUCKING CUTE. (I am warming to this idea, mostly because I get a baby and money and Lisa Evans as my mother in law out of this deal. Look, it won't be forever. Eventually my future wife Carey Mulligan and I will find our way to each other. But until then. You know. There are worse ways to kill some time. I bet Chris Evans could even introduce me to my future wife Carey Mulligan.)

***

I'm totally not writing a Cop AU. It totally doesn't involve Moira and Erik as partners. It totally doesn't have an actual plot yet.

(One of those things is true. I will leave you to guess which one.)

***

In conclusion, I'm going to go stare at my open WsiP for a little while. I WILL REPORT BACK IN SOON, INTERNET.

Title: Spousal Obligations
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Characters: Charles/Erik, Raven (Daycare verse)
Rating: NC-17? Hard R? There's sex.
Length: ~2000
Summary: In which Charles has a hard day, Erik stands in for the massage function on the shower head, and Raven eats dinner in front of the television.

Notes: Daycare verse! In the not-so-distant future! This was mostly written over email to pearl_o and maybe over chat to littledust? All of the words that I spew over various methods of communication are starting to blur together.

( spousal obligations )

Good morning, internet!

Internet, I don't know if I've mentioned this nine million times but IN LESS THAN TWELVE HOURS I WILL BE WITH leiascully AND coffeesuperhero!!!

I don't know that my brain entirely believes it! Partially because, I think, instead of staying up packing and being excited, like I normally do the night before a trip, I packed early and fell asleep on the couch for an hour and then went to bed super early because I was so cranky and exhausted. So, uh, sorry to everyone trying to talk to me on GChat last night, especially littledust because I REALLY WANT TO SHARE YOUR FEELINGS, but my eyes would not remain open.

But. Oh my god. I'm leaving so soon! In a few hours! I just need to go to the parking office and the UPS store (and take a shower and get dressed, obvs) and then I will get on the bus and go to the airport. THE AIRPORT. WHERE THE PLANES LIVE. THE PLANES THAT WILL TAKE ME TO MARY AND ERIN. (Well, one of the planes that will take me to Mary and Erin. The other one is in Texas.)

***

I predict that I will not be entirely absent during my stay at Temporary Castle de Fangirl, given that most of the rest of our friends live in the computer. So, if something important catches on fire in my absence, DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT REALLY GONE. Probably.

***

This morning I decided that, unless I get zapped with crazy time/inspiration this summer, I'm going to finish the sequel to No Yesterdays on the Road for the next round of X-Men Big Bang. This has nothing to do with my trip, but I'm putting it here in writing so I have to own it.

***

Okay, I'm going to check Tumblr and check the bus schedule and check the location of the UPS store and then PACK MY LAPTOP SO I'M READY TO GO. You....may see me online in the airports on my Kindle, but whatevs. ON MY WAY TO THE LOVING ARMS OF MARY AND ERIN, GUYS. ♥ ♥ ♥

Guys, the Mutant Feelings Party was SO EXCELLENT. Seriously. Oh man. littledust and chiasmus and rose71 and brilligspoons came over and we ate food and watched XMFC and had an excessive number of feelings at each other. It was pretty much perfect. We did a lot of flailing and snarking and enjoying all of their perfect faces.

After the movie, we watched a bunch of vids and then brilligspoons left. We watched even more vids, including this one which I had never seen before, but, oh my god, there was literal hair pulling and whimpering and littledust needed to get up from the couch and hug me. IT'S A REALLY GOOD VID, GUYS.

I mean, basically that's what we did for seven hours. We had feelings and talked about fic and fandom and everyone was only once subjected to my rant about people who by-pass shipping a really obvious couple for a couple of white dudes. It was great. We looked at fanart, we talked about fic, Kelsey and I did a dramatic reading of the outline of our ~*Magical AU*~, and generally we were super happy and flaily and it was great. Around 11:30/12 rose71 and chiasmus left for the night, but Kelsey stayed for another few hours in which we watched the movie again and then flopped on the couch and sleepily talked about their faces for another hour or so.

So good. Like, it was a stupid little thing, but it made me feel so good and so happy for a day and I'm really glad for it. I wish I always felt as good as I do when I'm hanging out with people, gushing about stuff I love. The come down is hard, but I manged to get through most of today without totally freaking out and in two days, I will be on a plane to see leiascully and coffeesuperhero, so hopefully I can drag this out and make it last.

SO MUCH FUN, THOUGH. Why can't this be every weekend? Why are their faces so good? How are they so in love? WHY DOESN'T THE MOVIE END WITH A TRIPLE WEDDING AND THEN SEAN TAKES THE GIRL FROM THE GROCERY STORE TO PROM?

Good morning, internet.

I had an attack of the sad last night. It was not great. I don't know where it came from, but suddenly I was weepy and insecure. It's sort of dragged over into this morning, but I think I have more of a handle on it. Part of it, I think, is this stupid feeling of being left out even when I choose not to participate in things, either because it doesn't interest me or because I don't like the people involved or because my social anxiety doesn't entirely allow me to interact the way a normal person does. Like, it's my choice! But then the insecurity happens, etc.

It's all very stupid. I am seeing some of my favorite people on Saturday (um, I'm gonna email you ladies in a second) and next week I will be with leiascully and coffeesuperhero and the week after that I am seeing Dar and some more people I never get to see. But there's no logicing crazy, unfortunately.

Which is all to say that I'm sorry if I get my crazy on you in the next few days. I promise to be mostly sane-acting by Saturday! And sometimes a good drunken sob over OTP feelings is just what I need to get myself out of things like this.

***

I wrote the ending to a fic last night and I hate all of it, so we'll see if that changes over the course of the day. But. I don't know that it will. I should be working on my reverse bang, which is my plan for the weekend, though paging through the support community is making me feel rather inadequate. Everyone's like, "THIS IS WHERE I AM IN MY RESEARCH, LET ME SHOW YOU MY METHOD" and my method is.......I sit down and I write words? Sometimes I go to Panera? Sometimes I put a shitty movie on in the background? There is no fanciness here, sorry to say :(

While we are talking about things too fancy for me, I would be remiss not to mention that although I am addicted to tumblr, I simultaneously loathe it and do not understand it. I feel like there is some secret to tumblr and to having fannish relationships there that I am just not in on, but the most I talk to people, the more it seems that everyone (that I know) on there just actively hates it but is similarly addicted. So. That's good to know, at least.

***

This has been a very negative entry! I honestly didn't intend for it to be that way! Oh man. Um, on the positive side....tomorrow is Friday? :D? :D? :D?

The tiny Charles and Erik at my desk have made up!

Um, fic recs! I will do a proper rec post, actually, because there have been three or four recently that I really liked, but this one is good enough to mention twice:

many little wild wishes by pearl_o

It's teenage Charles and Erik! There is skinny dipping and making out in a pool! They're so in love! There's hair-petting and heads-resting-in-laps and cuddling! Erik doesn't know how to deal with his feelings! Charles is a little minx in his adorable teenage way! IT HAS THE MOST PERFECT LAST LINE. As Pearl said to me, "I feel like the only way this story could be more for you is if they took a break in the middle to read a picture book." WHICH IS TRUE. And I feel like more people should write stories where they read to each other. It doesn't even have to be picture books! But I digress.

The point is, you should read this, because I said so!

***

I think I will ask brilligspoons if she will go get coffee with me.

Hello, internet.

The past few nights I've been sore/tired/stoned and went to bed early and ACTUALLY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT, but I'm still tired. So. That's balls. I thought sleeping was supposed to help with the whole being tired thing. LAME.

Anyway.

Things to do, etc. Lots of writing I should be doing, so I'll try to stay up to a grown-up time tonight.

Last weekend the NAMI Walk was on Saturday! We walked the shit out of that 5k, you don't even know. Mental Illness was COWERING IN FEAR. Sunday I saw The Avengers again with metonymy, which was great because the first time I hadn't gone with fannish people, so I didn't get to do the post-movie, "OH MAN LET'S SAY ALL THE GREAT THINGS BACK AND FORTH TO EACH OTHER!" bit. Which I did this time. Conclusion? ♥ Natasha ♥ Also Bruce is great.

In A WEEK I will be about to get on a plane headed for leiascully and coffeesuperhero. A WEEK. That is hardly any time at all! :D :D :D I am pretty excited about this, in case you don't follow me on Twitter and don't see my daily post of my countdown clock and thus didn't know how excited I was. Or something. Whatever, I'M EXCITED, GUYS, I WILL BE WITH ERIN AND MARY SO SOON. SO SOON.

In the meantime, workworkwork. I half cleaned off my desk, so now Hulk is chilling with the birth announcement for my co-worker's adorable baby. Aw.

***

GUYS SO, HEY, MY BIRTHDAY!

My birthday is also coming very soon! Like, two weeks!

This is me just checking again to see if anyone else would like to join littledust and me for Dar Williams in Fall River on my birthday! (5/31) It's $30 (+~$5 in fees) and general admission, so you can buy your own ticket and then just let me know. IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. Even though I recognize that a Thursday night is a pain for a lot of people.

Also still gauging interest for anyone who'd like to come to a picnic lunch on 6/2? There will be cake! And probably other things! Let me know! I'll probably send out an email with deets to anyone who's interested sometime before I leave for Almost-Castle de Fangirl.

***

Also, I had the revelation this morning that The Avengers is pretty much about a bunch of fortysomething year old dudes and their hot young things. It works for Tony and Steve and for Clint and Natasha, but kind of falls apart with Bruce and Thor. Unless, like Margaret, my mere explanation is enough to get you to ship it.

Anyway, it's hilarious to ME. And that's what counts.

***

That is all for now. Back to work!

Hi, folks!

I'm pretty sure I owe you an update, but I've been busy at work and last night I may have taken more than the recommended dosage of benedryl (I was so itchy I wanted to cry) and then passed out at like, 8pm. So. This is not that update. (Not that anything exciting has happened in my life.)

But! bessemerprocess is hosting a Reverse Remix over on DW and it is worth checking out! The idea is that you volunteer by commenting with your fandoms (and what you will and will not write!) and other people respond by telling you which of their stories you should remix. I think the idea is to make new writing buds, but I personally look forward to telling my friends which of my stories they should have a go at ;D So! You should sign-up! So I can do that!

My sign-up is here, and I'll be taking three to start with, but I might take more as time goes on.

Anyway, back to work!

Listen, guys, I know that it's super uncouth in fandom to take pride in your work or be excited when your story does well, but I'm going to set aside those social niceties for a moment to be really gleeful:



Wow.

That is the most Kudos I have ever gotten on a single story (I don't count multi-"chapter" ficlet collections because the results are skewed). A story that I posted only a little over a month ago. I just can't. Even. Fathom this. And it's so excellent and I just can't. I had a real fear that no one was even going to care about a story where Charles and Erik are old and boring and... ::hands:: Guys. Guys. You're all really great, okay?

This is really cool and I'm so psyched and I know that it's socially unacceptable to express that excitement, but I have it and I just want to...mark the occasion, I guess? And I have and I'll go back to reading fic and bitching about how bored I am now, but yes. THANK YOU FOR READING MY DUMB STORY. And liking it and apparently telling your friends to read it too ♥

We finished the NAMI Walk! Yay! It was a grueling morning. I mean, walking three miles in perfect weather with friends while talking about feelings? AWFUL. DREADFUL. I DON'T KNOW HOW WE SURVIVED.

But we did! There's still time to donate, if you're into that! Check out this entry for details!

Afterwards, we went out to brunch! But there were six of us and my car only fits five. So. We got creative? But we all eventually got there and ATE ALL THE FOOD and now we're back home for a long afternoon of napping and doing nothing. EXCELLENT.

***

Also, because who doesn't love telling people who much you like them, here is my thread on the anon love meme and you guys should all do it too so I can tell you all how much I like you!

***

Naptime, I think.

brilligspoons: I wonder what Thor's other fandoms would be? I've beent hinking about this.
pocky_slash: Well. He can relate to stories about brothers and the battle between good and evil.
brilligspoons: OH MY GOD.
pocky_slash: Yep. I'm just saying.
brilligspoons: HE WOULD LOVE SUPERNATURAL EVEN MORE THAN HARRY POTTER. He wouldn't like Dean, but he would love Sam so much.
pocky_slash: This is all Darcy's fault, isn't it?
brilligspoons: Jane is so pissed at her.

(Re: This post, specifically this gif.)

pocky_slash: I think being in a fandom with Thor would be amazing.
brilligspoons: He'd be very passionate about it!
pocky_slash: Like, I think about the times that I'm sitting on my couch, literally pulling my hair like, "THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH." Thor would be destroying buildings.
brilligspoons: The Eiffel Tower destroyed because Thor was having Charles/Erik feels.
pocky_slash: I just imagine Fury finding him downtown, all of the building nothing but rubble. Thor's just sitting on the sidewalk like, "THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH! WHY IS THEIR LOVE SO TRAGIC? I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY!"

So, in one of my ~*emails of feelings*~ with pearl_o we got to talking about epistolary fic and what letters from Erik would be like. We agreed he'd find the medium freeing in that he'd be able to bring himself to say things which may have been harder to put into words when he was with Charles. That, combined with a cut scene from the old retired dudes fic, planted the seed for this in my mind and...it bloomed from there. This is for the fan_flashworks "Communication" challenge and will be chilling on that comm until the challenge is over.

Title: the words you chose, the way you write
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Characters: Charles/Erik, background Raven, Emma, others
Rating: R
Length: ~7000
Summary: It's easier, writing letters on paper. Erik can say things that stuck in his throat when he and Charles were together.

Notes: For the fan_flashworks "Communication" challenge. Thanks to pearl_o for fanning the fire, as it were, and all the encouragement, as well as the beta. littledust provided the usual ninth inning rally when I began to despair.

Read it: At the fan-flashworks community

Good morning, internet. I am not in jail for property damage this morning. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is yet to be seen.

***

It ocurred to me last night that I go through a sort of emotional process while I'm writing. Single-minded enthusiasm turns to a sort of overwrought, emotional desperation to get a particular image down, turns to mindless typing. I then hit a point, right near the end, where I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING OR WHAT I'M WRITING OR HOW IT WILL END, at which point I inevitably IM littledust and say, "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS. HOW ARE ENDINGS?" and she soothes me through the despair and makes helpful suggestions and then I force myself to finish, even though I don't even care anymore, cresting until the anticlimatic realization that it's done. The joy comes only when I get the first comment/Kudos and realize, "OH MAN IT'S DONE."

Welcome to my brain. It's a scary place.

***

I have some more thoughts on The Avengers. ( spoilers? )

eta: Also, this breakdown of each character's screen time was pretty cool. No spoilers!

***

Relatedly! This might be of interest to you:

virgin_america: a fic fest based on the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and one simple question: Steve Rogers is canonically a 90(ish)-year-old virgin. What happens when the rest of the Avengers find out?

It sounds like fun!

***

Okay, I'm going to run a report. I will be crossposting fic in the near future, fyi!

Title: The Dollar Spot
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Characters: Charles/Erik (daycare verse)
Rating: PG
Length: ~1800
Summary: In which the Target Spiral claims another victim and Erik has deep thoughts about cohabitation.

Notes: Haha, um, this is Valentine's Day fic as requested by ilovetakahana back in February. I took prompts for first Valentine's Days and she asked for Charles/Erik in this verse. I wrote all but the last five or six sentences and got distracted, then found it this weekend and felt pretty dumb for abandoning it so close to the end. Sorry it's so late! ♥

( You don't seem like the type to go all out for Valentine's Day )

I'm home, internet! I bet you didn't even know I was gone! Mostly because I didn't talk about it and didn't post much? idk. Anyway, I'M BACK AND I MISSED YOU AND I MISSED MY HOUSE AND I MISSED mcwonthelottery.

The picture that I was going home for didn't even happen, btw. Brendan had an awkward meltdown when we were out to dinner on Sunday night and stormed out of the restaurant. I bonded over tumblr and dumb people on the internet with one of my cousins. I saw some of my family. I saw the Avengers (see previous post). I went out to breakfast twice. Blah blah blah, it was New Jersey.

I did, however, take advantage of my parents' blu ray player and ridiculous television to watch XMFC. While, um, intoxicated. I sent pearl_o a lot of emails with my feelings, wherein "feelings" equates to "CHARLES IS JUST SO PRETTY" and "OH GOD, WHY AREN'T THEY KISSING THEY'RE SO IN LOVE" over and over again. I might, later this week, weed through the emails to pull out the legitimate commentary bits, but of the roughly four thousand words of babbling I sent, I'd say a third of it was "CHARLES IS SO PRETTY" a third of it was "THEY'RE IN LOVE!!" and a third of it was other stuff. (And of the other stuff, a disproportionate amount of it was the word "boats" over and over again.)

***

Only three days in the office this week. I had today off and Friday is a Worcester day with a meeting immediately afterwards, so we won't have to go back to the office, probably. Still. Three busy days and then the NAMI walk on Saturday :(

***

Here is the latest installment in "songs that I'm thinking about a lot lately that have no unifying theme and are totally unrelated to my continuing to guzzle down the OTP kool-aid."

You say that you're alright, then you turn your back.
Well, darlin', can the truth be that bad?
Maybe this is not a perfect life,
but it never will be without a good fight.
"Come Home," Bess Rogers


you may leave here for four days in space,
but when you return, it's the same old place,
the poundin' of the drums, the pride and disgrace,
you can bury your dead, but don't leave a trace,
hate your next-door-neighbour, but don't forget to say grace
and you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend,
you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.
"Eve of Destruction," covered by Novillero


I would say that I'm sorry if it would do any good,
but to never regret means you have to forget
and I don't think that I could.
Don't say words you don't mean
and when I'm gone please speak well of me
"Please Speak Well of Me," The Weepies

mcwonthelottery: Oh, you know, just another interview where Cumberbatch talks about how pretty McAvoy is.
http://www.metro.us/newyork/entertainment/article/1142298--benedict-cumberbatch-the-uncensored-sherlock-interview
pocky_slash: THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S SO PRETTY, BECCA. HE'S SO GODDAMN PRETTY I JUST CAN'T.
mcwonthelottery: I'm laughing at you a lot. So, situation normal.
pocky_slash: a) I just skimmed that article to find the McAvoy reference and b) You didn't tell me McAvoy was quoted in that other article! I HAVE NEEDS, REBECCA. THOSE NEEDS INVOLVE KNOWING EVERY CUTE THING MCAVOY HAS EVER SAID.
mcwonthelottery: I figured if he wasn't talking about his wife or there wasn't a photo, you didn't actually give a shit. :P :P :P
pocky_slash: And, it's funny, because I did actually skim that article because I was interested in the whole audition-via-iphone story, but I stopped right before that part with McAvoy XD
mcwonthelottery: Basically, you just need to assume that BC is gonna talk about how pretty he thinks McAvoy is at least once an interview.
pocky_slash: Good rule to live by--it seems to be true so far. We have that in common, Cumberbatch.
mcwonthelottery: Now I'm just imaging you and BC throwing yourselves about the room being all, "THE FRECKLES, THOUGH!"
pocky_slash: .................that's accurate. #cumberbatchcallme #iunderstand
mcwonthelottery: I feel like this is how the "HIS FACE IS SO GOOD THOUGH" in blood on the wall story begins.
pocky_slash: Also accurate. It's probably good that I die at the end of that story, because otherwise I think the BC fangirls would kill me.